


settle for me (in a sad way, darling, it's fate)

by clicheusername5678



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), Character Study, F/F, First Kiss, Hurt No Comfort, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Scorptra, PTSD, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26026906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clicheusername5678/pseuds/clicheusername5678
Summary: Catra stands on the edge of something, allowing herself a moment to look at the woman beside her. She doesn’t know how love works, but she’s pretty sure Scorpia does. How else has she stayed this long?“Hey, Scorpia,” she says, avoiding the taller woman’s gaze. “Do you want to kiss me?”
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80





	settle for me (in a sad way, darling, it's fate)

**Author's Note:**

> In a panel last night Noelle said that she once had the headcanon that Scorpia and Catra kissed in the Crimson Wastes, but that it was ultimately scrapped. Personally I'm not a huge Scorptra fan, mostly due to the fact that I'm a ride-or-die Catradora shipper, but also because I've been a part of their dynamic during some awful times in my life. As always, the uncomfortable similarities between Catra and myself lend themselves to some interesting projection-y writing, and this scene was the result. 
> 
> I don't even know if I consider this fully canon. I'm glad that Noelle toed the line between confirming or denying it, because either way the story would have gone the same. It hurts to write Catra at such a dark time, especially when it's almost autobiographical, but it's cathartic too. You probably won't enjoy this fic, but I hope it at least somewhat resonates with the characters as we know them. And if I'm totally projecting and missing the mark completely, enjoy my angst, I guess?

Catra stands on the edge of something, allowing herself a moment to look at the woman beside her. She doesn’t know how love works, but she’s pretty sure Scorpia does. How else has she stayed this long?

“Hey, Scorpia,” she says, avoiding the taller woman’s gaze. “Do you want to kiss me?”

Catra expected to hear some sputtering awkward response, but Scorpia just blushes—as though she’s been waiting for this to happen the whole time. Catra pities her, and resents her, and needs something from her more in this moment than she’s ever needed from anyone.

“S-sure, Wildcat,” Scorpia says, clearing her throat.

“Great,” Catra says with a smile she forces herself to feel. She’s glad to be 5’2 in this moment, so tiny compared to the woman beside her. It normally feels like a weakness, but now it’s a strength—she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and it’s so damn easy to get what she wants.

What she wants.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Scorpia asks, breaching Catra’s normally enforced personal space. Her face is so honest, so caring. Maybe her kiss could fix everything.

“No.”

“That’s okay,” Scorpia says. “Do you… what exactly should I…”

Something burns inside Catra as she presses herself tight to the other woman, looking dead in her eyes. “Just _do_ it.”

Scorpia blinks, but doesn’t lean in. Instead she gently tucks Catra’s hair behind her helmet, an act so tender and unfamiliar that Catra flinches at her claw’s approach.

She’s actually blushing now, actually flustered, and it feels surreal. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Has she been wrong this whole time?

Catra puts her hands on Scorpia’s arms, stands on her tiptoes, and watches Scorpia squeeze her eyes shut. Catra doesn’t. She wants to experience this, her first kiss, in as much detail as possible.

And there it is.

Catra has never tasted anyone else’s lips before. She’s never felt how soft they are, like if she bit down they would pop. They’re also wet, which really shouldn’t be a surprise, but it’s definitely strange. It tastes like not-Catra, a whole entire other person’s smell and texture and _breath_ , and it’s just… foreign.

She pulls away as blush floods onto her cheeks. Scorpia continues to cup the side of her face, somehow gentle despite the claws.

“Was that okay?” Scorpia asks, flushed.

“Yeah,” Catra answers with a lazy grin. “Let me try again.”

So she does. Once, twice, three times, she kisses Scorpia hard and fast, taking more control with each time their lips meet. The fourth time, she finds her tongue entering Scorpia’s mouth, which is, of course, ten times wetter. They both withdrawal at this, gasping.

“Was that _tongue?_ ” Catra gasps, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Scorpia breathes, trying to maintain her composure. “It sure was.”

Catra shrugs and goes in again. She touches more and more of the other woman, her kisses growing longer and more passionate, her hands all over Scorpia’s waist and sides.

She _bites_ , and it feels good. And instead of making some dorky exclamation, Scorpia bites back.

 _It’s on now_ , Catra thinks. _I’m going to drive you insane._

“Do you want me to take off my shirt,” Catra says into a kiss.

“What?”

“It’s what comes next, right?”

“I… uh… sure?”

Catra pulls back and smirks, hands going to the bottom of her tunic. Scorpia’s life flashes before her eyes as Catra reveals her tan midsection, and then—

“Hey, boss?” calls a voice from camp. Catra immediately composes herself and turns on her heel.

“ _What_ ,” she hisses, about five seconds from clobbering her newly acquired lizard lackey.

“Scout says there’s some crazy loot a short walk away from here. We should claim it before someone else does.”

“I’m sorry,” Catra scowls, stalking towards the cowering woman. “I thought _I_ was the boss here.”

She brings her hand to the whip at her waist, but her point has already come across. And besides, if she wants to keep her power in the Wastes, it’s in her best interest to gather all the loot she can.

That… wasn’t what she thought it would be. Catra finds herself let down, but also knows that Scorpia couldn’t have done any better. That was her _first kiss_ , and she’ll never have another one like it.

She takes a breath and turns around.

“Scorpia,” she says, “Please go help pack up camp.”

“W-what? Catra, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

Catra shakes her head, willing her hands not to shake. “No. You did everything I asked. Thank you.”

“Okay, because I would never force you to—”

“I _asked_ ,” Catra breathes, losing patience. She wonders, as much as she knows Scorpia is wondering, how far things would have gone if not for the interruption. Would that have made it better? It would have stopped Catra from thinking so much, given her something to feel, an unearned affection from someone with too much patience for her own good.

She didn’t deserve that.

Scorpia envelopes her in a hug and Catra finds herself paralyzed. This tiny woman in Scorpia’s arms is _not her_. She is not her body, inside her body, because she doesn’t get these things, she never has and never will. They’re not for her.

She will never tell Scorpia how she feels in this moment. She’ll let her have this victory, a small moment of tenderness with the woman she’s admired for so long. Catra has already been so cruel, she might as well let Scorpia keep what’s left of the broken corrupted love she gives.

Catra squeezes Scorpia as a tear runs down her cheek. “Thank you,” she repeats. _This was a mistake._

“You’re amazing, Catra,” Scorpia insists. The praise, from her, means next to nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Catra repeat, and knows this can never happen again. Not with Scorpia, not with anyone. Not in this lifetime, not on this planet… not in this _reality_.

If only she could create a new one.


End file.
